Monday, May 29, 2006

失去感官

这已经是第几次?一时说不够关心,一时说其他人更好……可以因为小事情而大吵,也可以在人家的生日会搞到场面尴尬,不理会是什么时候,你都是可以不顾人家的感受然后就大发脾气。

从前到现在,我不是一直这样爱你吗?你不开心时,我一直陪你。在课室、在家里、就算我无法出现,我也一直在电话的另一端。你生气时,我就是你的出气筒。

我不介意满手的瘀青,因为我知道你的压力很大。骂不还口,打不还手。我也只是希望我会是你坏情绪的黑洞,打骂了以后,你就气消了。但是,我渐渐发觉原来我在你心中只是那么渺小。这已经是第几次?我既然怀疑你和我。

什么时候你变成这样。我已经不知道你是什么人了,越来越不了解你了。到底什么改变了你?又什么冲稀了我对你的爱?为什么我再也感觉不到你的心,也觉得自己不像是你的什么人。这已经是第几次?我们分分又合合……

这已经是第几次?别再问我了。因为我也不记得是第几次的什么什么了。

28 Comments:

At 29/5/06 10:07 AM, Blogger 卡門 said...

我看過那些很癡緾的女生,當有壓力時,或是她的男友跟別的女生交談,多看美女幾眼,她就會去咬他直到有血印或是捏他捏到瘀青。
我覺得這樣的愛情太恐怖了啦~夠轟轟烈烈的。我覺得當你很喜歡一個時,你不會忍心咬他的。

 
At 29/5/06 3:01 PM, Blogger 小东 said...

hey crayn, its your own story or somebody story? huh?

 
At 29/5/06 11:36 PM, Blogger wilberlove said...

她虽然变了,但你还是爱她的。

 
At 30/5/06 11:31 AM, Blogger The J said...

这已经是第几次?I think in a relationship.. It's really important to get to feel each other heart and feeling.. if we cant feel her heart.. It really means, there's something very NOT GOOD happening between both of u.. I wont advice u what to do.. Cos I think nobody has the right to do so.. and you yourself know you the most.. Understand what u need the most.. If u think u want this to go on.. Just do it.. I believe all of us, friends and family will always support your decision.. Sometimes, love can be BLINDED as we cant see anyting else but believe me.. Our eyes are blind.. But not our heart..

Wish u bhappy bro...

~J~

 
At 30/5/06 11:39 AM, Blogger @lly said...

Agree with J's, think what u want b4 do any decision!good luck!

 
At 30/5/06 4:45 PM, Blogger wilberlove said...

我发觉我很多东西跟你很像,对情感的执著......我可以感受到你对她的感情。
有兴趣msn聊天吗?(有空的话)
我的msn :wilber0810@hotmail.com

 
At 30/5/06 6:12 PM, Blogger Crayn Tay said...

蚊子〉其实我也看过整天会互相打来打去的情侣,有时真的可以看到他们的手上和身上都有瘀青。真得很可怕~算轰轰烈烈吗?如果喜欢一个人,是不忍心伤害她的。

tonyyy〉从来我写这里的故事,我都不会告诉你们这是谁的故事。我还是只能说,全部的故事都是真实的故事,眼睛没看过,耳没听过,心没感受过的都不会在这里出现。因为,我觉得我在写故事的当儿,或许故事也述说着你的回忆。当然我也不否认,这里有些故事确实是我本身经历的。只是我不跟你们讲得太明白这是我的故事。我想,除了最近的《落满地》和《云路》比较明显地显出我本身的故事之外,其他的我都尽量让大家有可以想象的空间。那这篇《失去感官》我就保留一点,但是我还是会让大家知道,故事主角的想法。

wilberlove>爱一个人并不会因为她变了而不爱她,只有自己变了才会不爱她。故事的男主角还是很挣扎,他是很爱她,可是他感觉自己已经对她不重要了。或许可以这么说,女友把他当时陌生人或是狗吧~。。。唉。心痛~

 
At 30/5/06 6:50 PM, Blogger Crayn Tay said...

Jason>谢谢你的祝福,应该看开的事情,还是需要一点时间的。没有人能够把什么事都一下子忘了。所以,“B Happy“的祝福我就接受啦~谢谢你~

两人的感情,又是因为什么而开始呢?就是因为之前的一种感觉,为什么那时候有,这时候又没有呢?突然之间,人也会迷失自己,会一时失去了感官。可是,为何不给自己多一点时间去找回那一种感觉呢?有时候,不是说舍得分开就分开的。但是如果真得很用心去感受了,还是感受不到,那这个人的心就不是你要的。或许,你也永远无法感受她的心。

我们是无法给于什么意见,但是我们能够提供方法让他找回那种感觉。因为虽然说当时这是最了解自己的,但还是有“盲”的时候。所谓,“失去后才会珍惜”真的是每个人都是真得很了解自己吗?

一个人,对于爱情是那么地“盲目”。。是因为他一直用眼睛去看。而没有用心去感受~Jason,所以我还蛮赞同你的话。也真的很谢谢你的关心。还有,Ally谢谢你。会记得你的“三思而后行”。

Wilberlove>谢谢你的支持,至少你让我知道你有一种同感。

 
At 31/5/06 12:37 AM, Blogger huixin said...

对喜欢的人大打出手....如果是我,真的做不出!

 
At 31/5/06 2:47 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

有史以来爱情其实是个令人又爱又恨的东西,但还是很多人执著和沉迷在内。有人很享受,有人却很悲哀。

女的情绪,
男的忧郁。

如果还有心维持这段感情,试着找个时间坐下好好谈吧,有什么不满或不了解说个清楚。事情解决那就好,不然就分就这么简单。别人的只是意见,事实还是要自己面对啦,潇洒点做出选择。记得前面还有很长的路要走,一念之差,何必那么执著呢。

故事看过后,我的脑海只有问号。相信故事有待继续,不然看的人都会一头雾水。

 
At 31/5/06 11:23 AM, Blogger 小东 said...

hey crayn, Love sometimes can be very complicated. But we r human, so we need love. Love, must be must be both 2 persons to sacrifice together rather than just one side. Dont worry lo, I think probably u can learn from time to time and experiences too. Wish everything get well there. Talk to you again :) cheers

 
At 31/5/06 12:57 PM, Blogger wy said...

hei..你好.. 拖拖拉拉,又或者说持续这样下去不是办法丫..加油吧..

 
At 31/5/06 12:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

pang..who is the guy in the story? is u right? we suppose to know! i bet u guys want to know oso right... tell us pls!

 
At 31/5/06 7:40 PM, Blogger こうゆうけん said...

Nothing can be more important than this "communication". When one of them is started not understand about another's thinking, means they had less talk recently. Please... at least one of them takes action to talk. Without communication, i wonder how long does this relationship can last...

 
At 1/6/06 2:37 PM, Blogger Old Beng said...

感情最忌藕断丝连
切记,切记。

当然,知易行难。。。唉!

 
At 1/6/06 11:29 PM, Blogger Unknown said...

Actually I feel that both of them really need to think carefully whether both of them is suitable stay together? If Yes, that girl should control her temper & that guy please show out the "control" his has...
Sometime, girls might feel that "bad guy" is "man"...

 
At 2/6/06 11:46 AM, Blogger dandan...™ said...

可能..放开心怀去看某些事情会变得不一样?

 
At 2/6/06 4:49 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

我觉得放弃,应该会好点儿吧?

 
At 2/6/06 7:44 PM, Blogger Crayn Tay said...

huixin>有时候,对某些人来说,爱就是要用“痛”来真是那种存在感。

Anonymous>谢谢你的留言,而且还是那么长的一个留言。谢谢,我其实明白你的话,沟通很重要。可是不是每个人都有着一样的沟通方式,有的人,尤其是在爱情之重的情侣更是不惜黄剖通。会觉得是婆婆妈妈。爱就是爱,不爱就是不爱。有的还认为,爱上了就是错,离开了就是对。我自己都怕了。

在回你的comment时,我已经在写了故事两位主角的后续发展。结局,其实大家在看了第一部分的时候就应该知道男主角要的是什么,写了第二部分,自己都觉得很心痛。因为要把人家的伤口在此拉开流血。


Tonyyy>爱情就是没有那么单纯。也不是两个人的事,更不只是两个家庭的事。还是两个圈子的事。牵涉的人,很多的。爱情是双方面的,如果单方的努力,根本就没办法。因为人也总会有失去“坚持”的时候,也真的谢谢你的祝福。这两位主角身边就是需要你们这么邦的朋友给与意见。我会一直让自己从故事中学习。

 
At 2/6/06 8:02 PM, Blogger Crayn Tay said...

nincompoop>我明白你的意思,拖拖拉拉并不是好办法。我明白。

Anonymous>马曼感受一下,就知道了。

kooyuken こうゆうけん>我知道沟通很重要。可是,如果两个人对于某一样东西的了解又不一样的观点的时候,怎样?你很在乎的,我不在意,我很紧张的,你看起来就很悠闲。没有两个人会对于一样的东西会有一样的看法,除了是谅解,还要的是沟通更要的是接受。


old beng>藕断丝连 。。。知易行难。。。赞同~我也在这里讲了一大堆,可是有用吗?如果我没有赋予行动的话...

Joanne>其实我觉得,没有一样是穷能够抑制永恒,只有“改变”才是永远地一直发生。这个时候,我们是很适合,但是下一分钟未必很适合,有可能踩步入教堂的时候,才发觉这不是我要的一切。。。很难讲,因为人一直在改变。的确,很多人都相信,“男人不坏,女人不爱~”可是有一点我不是很明白的是If Yes, that girl should control her temper & that guy please show out the "control" his has...
这句话怎么解释?我看不明白~

dаndän..™ 〉有多少人能够在事情发生的当下可以放开心胸?可以冷静去看一件事?

angel〉爱情的世界,有恐怖的吗?有不合乎常理的吗?我看到的是,没这回事。。。。唉 。对了,我游览不到你的部落格,是有什么问题吗?

雨〉回你的答案已经在《失去感官之两条路》里面写了。男主角已经放弃了,或许有人会觉得很可惜,但是旁人是说不到设么的~唉

 
At 6/6/06 10:20 AM, Blogger The J said...

::crayn::
Aiks! I typed a very long comment but dunno why, suddenly it disappeared!! Haih.. Nevermind.. Type again.. LoL

Frankly speaking, I do know how u feel and I understand what u meant.. As the matter of fact, I am myself still loving someone that might not loving me anymore.. I still remember everything about that person.. Cant forget about it.. And still stick to the original place.. Still fresh in my mind, the time we spent together.. The love and care that we poured to each other.. The happiness and sadness that we share together.. But it seems like all these are useless with just a single way of sacrificing.. The time that we spent is wasted.. The love and care that we hv poured to each other are useless.. The happiness and sadness that we shared together.. No longer existed.. It's really a sad thing to know this cruel reality.. That person still asked me to forget.. To go on.. Cos there are lotsa ppl that deserve my love.. Is this a good reason for a break up? Who deserves my love, I know the most~ And if someone has lost the faith towards the one he/she loves, there is no more point to stay that way.. This is what happening to me.. I just knew something cruel.. Reality is always cruel I shall say.. Just that I never thought that it will happen to me.. I cant do anything.. I really wish that I could hate that person so I can feel better myself.. But inside me.. Love is still more than hatred a lot a lot..

When we are being forced to forget someone that we dont want to.. That we love.. That we care.. It's really painful.. The pain is triggered from deep down your heart.. Without you noticing it at the very first place.. Believe me.. I will be fine soon.. But this SOON is unpredictable.. I do not know how long I hv to use in order to forget all these.. After all, VIRGO is not that easy to let go somethng or someone.. I knew that and ald be prepared.. Just that I really dun understand, why cant we try our hardest to love someone.. Why giving up so easily? Why should we make the one that love us so much to be in that painful and sad?

Anyway, hope that you and me can stay strong and chill.. I believe we can do it.. Just the matter of time.. Bhappy bro.. =D

~J~

 
At 9/6/06 12:35 AM, Blogger Crayn Tay said...

Jason,为什么我们都一样衰?哈哈我也是打了长篇大论的东西,结果就是不见了~好心痛~但是真的很谢谢你在我的部落个留言。反而使你们的部落个我就没有机会好好的留言了。实在太对不起了~~

其实真的很谢谢你能够体恤到男主角的心情。也真的很谢谢你这么用心去体会我的故事。谢谢。有时候,我们真的会做出一些事情是领导人家无法理解的,或许我们自己本身也不会清楚自己在干什么。人就是人,无法说忘记就忘记的。就是因为人,就是因为人不是机器,所以才会一直记得。发生过的事情,就是一辈子也忘不掉的。开心的,伤心的,一起经历的,你错过的,一切的一切其实就无法从你的脑海中磨灭,只有让自己的心情真正地沉淀。但是,这也是时间的问题。不是吗?时间,还是人与人之间很重要的因素。

我记得,子非鱼也问过我,如果世界上真的有一种能够“忘记”的药,不要忘了也给她一剂,我们谁都应该很希望有这样的药物吧?

爱一个人并没有错,不爱一个人,也没有错。只是一切的事情都是时间的问题,timing的问题。对一个人的付出也不是没有用,我们做了那么多事,付出了那么多,虽然我们得不到他的心,但是我真的觉得至少我们认真过而不是完全地白费心机。过去发生的不如意的事情,其实都是丰富我们的人生,也是为我们在将来的时候面对到美好的事情之前的一个心理准备。

Jason,现实永远都是那么地残酷,如果一个人吆喝你分开的话,没有理由都是一种理由。爱一个人,不爱一个人,全部都是没有理由的。可是,忘记一个人,也是可以没有理由的。不是?我们都要对自己好一点的。如果我们能够去恨一个人,去生气一个人的话,可能我们自己也会好一点的,但是我们都不是那种人,不是吗?你都不是一个坏人,你要怎么逼自己去做这样的事情呢?

 
At 9/6/06 1:35 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

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At 9/6/06 5:08 PM, Blogger The J said...

::crayn::
It's ok that u din leave comment in my blog.. I noe u r kinda busy now.. Erm.. as for your reply to my comment.. Thanks again~ And I really really understand what u mean.. As the matter fact, it KENA GAO GAO~ Yes, I really hope to hate but ya, I just cant.. Anyway, after yesterday's sms from that person.. I really really given up~ This time.. really nothing to say ald.. Cos hurt me damn damn much~ Too much till i hv nothing to cover myself anymore.. Can I forgive? Maybe.. but definitely not now.. I just want this person to get out of my way now.. Dun wanna think too much ald..

I hope you will be the same.. Continue your life happily and forget about her.. Sometimes, we just need to treat ourselves better, as u said~ So, we... TREAT OURSELVES BETTER THEN! Hahaha! Bhappy n t.care! =D

~J~

 
At 9/6/06 7:54 PM, Blogger Crayn Tay said...

Jason,或许,在逼着我们自己去忘记一个人的同时,我们就越记得这个人。而且,真的如你所说的,会是一件很辛苦的事情。

你是Virgo的人,我很了解,virgo是那种非常固执的人。但是双子座的人也不见得会对于“感情”很潇洒的。其实,你问的问题,有很多人都不懂得回答,或许也是没有大案的问题,“为什么爱得那么用心,反而很快就失去?”“为什么那么快就放弃?”“为什么会痛苦和悲伤?”


有时候,人就是有点犯贱,就是要受了很大很大的耻辱或很大很大的伤害,才会甘心放手,才会私心。为什么?我不想刮烂自己的脸却又不舍的放手的人。

谢谢你啦~我真地会一直提醒自己要开开心心的过生活的。

开心最重要,对自己最好,才有资格去爱别人。

 
At 10/6/06 9:33 AM, Blogger The J said...

Yeah~ I am really very stubborn.. However, now, I don think I still can be stubborn..

The questions that u written down.. I am onli concerning about this.. "为什么那么快就放弃?" Cos I really dun understand why can give up so easily after loving someone so much.. After all, I do not really wanna think about this anymore cos it brings nothing but sadness.. So, I rather be happy.. And not to think about it.. hehe!

Surely u gonna be happy~ I believe u can.. Me too.. I believe I can~ haha! T.care n stay cool man!

~J~
Jason

 
At 20/6/06 7:49 PM, Blogger Crayn Tay said...

Jason>没有答案的问题一直问也没有答案的,问得多,烦的也是自己。加油~

mlpang〉适度的付出和适度的要求不是每个人都可以这么的“适而可止”。
付出太多,关心太少,。。。有谁可以拿捏的好好?

 
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